Be “hearty in your approbation and lavish in your praise.”
That is Dale Carnegie’s advice in chapter 2 of his book How to Win Friends and Influence People written in 1936.
Don’t you love how people worded things decades ago? I don’t remember the word approbation used anywhere else. Some synonyms are approval, consent, praise, admiration, esteem, commendation, and regard.
His point was that people crave, not want, but crave sincere appreciation and encouragement.
What makes you feel important?
Of course, getting paid makes us feel valued on our jobs.
And knowing that we are making a difference for others makes us feel valued in our volunteer work.
Carnegie’s point, as I understand it, is that once the money part is sufficient to meet our needs, we crave the knowledge that our efforts are noticed and sincerely appreciated. That fills up the rest of the glass.
I know that for me there have been times when I was going all out, and my energy was drained. And then someone expressed appreciation for my efforts, and my battery began to recharge.
The opposite can occur too. You are running low on power, and then someone criticizes or condemns or complains about your efforts, and you just want to throw in the towel.
Many organizations make clear how much appreciation matters by spending time and money on awards dinners where they give out certificates of appreciation for all kinds of efforts.
We can then hang those certificates on our I Love Me wall.
Dale Carnegie’s stories taught that expressions of appreciation should be taking place every day.
Every person of every age group needs approbation. Even if that word is not in their vocabulary.
Let’s tell someone today how much we appreciate them. Maybe even lavishly.